HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
