I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
