I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize