i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
A+ Viking dick
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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