Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
