I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Couch. On fire.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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