So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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