how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
