Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
