Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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