your parents love me but you hate me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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