And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
