yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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