i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
