i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
