i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize