Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

You should get sea herpes

(831): View more from California

I mean sea horses

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing

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(503): View more from Oregon

He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?

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(616): View more from Michigan

i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

(616): View more from Michigan

i realized i waste a lot of time

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(416): View more from Toronto

Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...

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