Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
worst night to have a conscience
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
