he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think your dad took our porno
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
