I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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