Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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