For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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