Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
