Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
