talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
