Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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