ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
