He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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