Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize