Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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