margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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