He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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