i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
