i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize