idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
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I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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