I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
