That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
