I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Boobs speak an international language.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
