I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
