just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
