it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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