suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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