Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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