glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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