You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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