Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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