Just cropdusted the office
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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