Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
