wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
