i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
