Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
