Non-Jews are for practice
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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