Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
