if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
