i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
