I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
