Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So much rum. So many feels.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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