Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
