Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
