He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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