hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
