We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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