i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
