nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
