Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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